Everyone loves mascots. This is especially true when your team sucks, and some zany stunt from an anthropomorphized lion or erotic banana is the only excitement you’re going to see all night. But while some mascots are world famous for their comedic shenanigans—like the Philly Phanatic, or the San Diego Chicken—most teams aren’t that lucky. They have to deal with idiot mascots screwing up stunts, tripping over their own feet, pissing off celebrities, inflicting serious injuries, or pretending to rape other mascots on live television. Of course, these mascot fails are funny in their own way, but I’m sure teams would prefer for fans to laugh with their mascots rather than laugh at their mascots.

Today, we’re celebrating the crappy mascots of the world by presenting you with a list of 20 mascot fail gifs. Sure, they may not be comedic geniuses, but at least they give us something to mock.

Here are some of the best sports plays for all you gamblers out there.

The Game: Anaheim Ducks @ St. Louis Blues

The Pick: Under 5

The Reason: The Anaheim Ducks have gone under the total in ten of their last 12 games overall, and 7 of their last 8 on the road.  Tonight they will take on a Blues team that has gone over the total just 17 times in 67 games this season and has not allowed more than two goals against in each of their last seven games.  The Ducks are scoring just 2.1 goals for on the road, while the Blues are giving up just 1.7 against at home.  Look for goals to be rare in this game, as it goes under the 5-goal total.

The Game: Tampa Bay Lightning @ Washington Capitals

The Pick: Over 5.5

The Reason: The Lightning continue to play in high-scoring games, as they have gone over the total in six of their last seven overall, and each of their last five on the road.  In their last five games they have averaged 3.4 goals for per game, but they have also given up an average of 3.4 goals against over that same time frame.  Five of the last six games between these two teams have gone over the total.  Look for another high-scoring battle between these two teams to unfold at the Verizon Center tonight, as this game goes over the total.

2012 Record: (45-42-4), This Week: (3-3), Last Week: (7-3)

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After watching Rajon Rondo make a mess out of his breakaway layup attempt during Tuesday night’s game between the Boston Celtics and the Houston Rockets, I didn’t believe I’d see a miss as embarrassing as that one in a while…

…and then I was treated to this laughable highlight from last night’s game between the Washington Wizards and the Los Angeles Lakers, which featurs Nick Young not only missing a breakaway layup of his own, but somehow managing to also completely miss the rim and backboard in the process.

As bad as that may have been, it still wasn’t the most embarrassing thing to happen to a Wizards player this season, thanks to this awkward moment from JaVale McGee.

For a team that hasn’t even made the playoffs since being introduced into Major League Soccer in 2007, you’d think the fans of the Toronto FC would have given up on their club by now.  But that certainly hasn’t been the case.  In fact, it appeared as though support for the Toronto FC was as strong as it has ever been during last night’s CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinal match against the Los Angeles Galaxy.

Not only did 47.000 of the club’s supporters fill the Rogers Center wearing red and white, but they also made their presence felt throughout the 90 minutes of action.  Just ask David Beckham, who must have felt as though it was pouring miles worth of streamers every time he lined up for a corner kick.  And when he wasn’t under a storm of tissue paper, he was under fire from drunken Torontonians and their empty beer cans.

It was the latter act from FC fans that would really set off the Galaxy midfielder, but he would have the last laugh moments later, as Landon Donovan converted on a corner kick to tie the game at 2-2.  And as you’d probably expect, Beckham wasted little time thanking the fans in the Rogers Center for their warm hospitality immediately following the goal.

Check it out.

Are you looking for some important tips to creating a flawless bracket for the upcoming NCAA March Madness Tournament?  Well the following infographic should help.  However, we should warn you that we don’t mean “help” in a way that will increase your chances of filling out a perfect bracket.  Instead, we mean “help” in a way that will allow you to realize that your chances of creating the perfect bracket are very improbable.  In fact, the chances of you picking a perfect bracket are even more improbable than your chances of dropping a bean bag on the roof of your house from outer space.

That is just one interesting fact regarding your chances of creating the perfect March Madness bracket.  For more, see the infographic below.

Created by: Business Degree

Tom Hanks has never really done much dancing in any of the movies he’s starred in, and I think I now know why after watching him shake and groove to the music during a recent Kings game.

I’m not sure if the “fake headphone and head-bobbing” action is still in these days, but at least he wasn’t suckered into performing the dreaded first-pump, like his wife Rita Wilson and the rest of the fans inside the Staples Center were seen doing on the LA Kings’ Dance Cam

You can check out the moves of Hanks, Wilson and several other Kings fans in the video below.

It was on this day in 1997 that a 68-year-old Gordie Howe signed a contract with the AHL’s Syracuse Crunch.  He was attempting to become the first player to play professional hockey in six consecutive decades.

Unfortunately, Howe’s comeback had to be canceled because the Crunch were in the playoff hunt and could not afford to sacrifice a roster spot for a player that they felt could put them at a disadvantage.  Later on that year, he would get his chance to accomplish the milestone, stepping onto the ice for one shift as a member of the IHL’s Detroit Vipers.

Strangely enough, the significance of this day for Howe goes beyond just his contract with the Syracuse Crunch.  He also became just the second NHLer to score 500 goals on March 14, 1962.  It was just another one of the many milestones Howe reached during his incredibly long professional hockey career.

Here is a look at the ceremony prior to Howe’s game with the Vipers.

Notable Birthdays

Nicolas Anelka, EPL – Born March 14, 1979 (age 33) in Versailles, France

Kirby Puckett, MLB – Born March 14, 1962 (age 50) in Chicago, Illinois

Wes Unseld, NBA – Born March 14, 1946 (age 66) in Louisville, Kentucky

First it was Blue Jays catcher J.P. Arencibia performing his now-famous Tim Kurkjian impression.  Then it was Tampa Bay Rays infielder Elliot Johnson impersonating the Baseball Tonight analyst.  And now the “Let’s all make fun of Tim Kurkjian’s squeaky voice” parade has made a stop at the Milwaukee Brewers’ camp to check in with pitcher Tim Dillard.

As each day passes and another clip of an MLB player performing a Kurkjian impersonation surfaces, the possibility that every team in the Majors has one Kurkjian impersonator seems more and more likely.  You can certainly add the Brewers to the list after watching Dillard’s performance in the following clip.

Check it out.

Hat Tip – [Awful Announcing]

For some reason, an ever-growing number of female tennis players cannot strike a tennis ball without releasing a loud, passionate grunt. Some players let out a deep, guttural grunt that sounds like their lifting a sofa. Others let out high-pitched screams that sound more like angry sex. But either way, once you notice it, that’s all you hear when you watch a match. Pop, grunt, bounce; pop, grunt, bounce; pop, grunt, bounce; pop, grunt, bounce.

I don’t know for sure if all the grunting made women’s tennis more popular. But there’s no question that tennis is the most popular women’s sport in the world today, and it started gaining popularity in the 90s— right about the time that “tennis grunts” became widespread. Could it just be a coincidence?

In any case, today, we take a look at some of the most famous grunts in women’s tennis. They pretty much run the gamut, from scary to erotic to hilarious to downright annoying. But in every case, they are just plain ridiculous.

Here are some of the best sports plays for all you gamblers out there.

The Game: Dallas Stars @ Winnipeg Jets

The Pick: Stars +105

The Reason: The Stars are one of the hottest teams in the NHL right now, as they have won their last six in a row and their last five straight on the road.   They have also beaten the Jets in 11 of their last 13 meetings, and five of their last six meetings away from Dallas.  Despite being in the midst of a playoff race themselves, the Jets have stumbled as of late, losing four of their last six.  Dallas has been a solid road team all season (19-14-2) and we expect them to continue their hot-streak tonight with a win over the Jets.

The Game: Ottawa Senators @ Montreal Canadiens

The Pick: Senators -125

The Reason: The Sens enter tonight’s game having won eight of their last 12 overall and five of their last six on the road.  As for the Canadiens, they have lost eight of their last 11 overall, and five of their last six at home.  The Sens have won in six of their last eight trips to Montreal.  The road team has fared awfully well in this series, winning six of the last eight meetings.  Look for the road team to come away victorious again, as the Sens get the win in Montreal.

2012 Record: (48-46-5), This Week: (2-1-1), Last Week: (4-6)

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Being under 8-years-old, these Polish children are a long way away from playing professional football for a top-level European club, but they were treated to a taste of what that experience might be like when dozens of rowdy fans with flares, flags and seemingly endless amounts of streamers filled the gym during their game.

The fans may have thought that they were treating the kids to an enjoyable experience, but all they were really doing was delaying their game and forcing the youngsters to clear their mess off the field of play.

Check it out.

Hat Tip – [Reddit]

First things first, if President Barack Obama wanted to welcome British Prime Minister David Cameron to the United States and showcase the game of basketball to him, why would he take him to a First Four game at Dayton University between Western Kentucky and Mississippi Valley State?  Couldn’t he have at least waited until the second round of the NCAA Tournament to take him to a possible match-up between Kentucky and UConn?

Well apparently, he couldn’t, so the US President and the British PM were forced to sit and watch a terrible first-half shooting performance from the Hilltoppers and the Delta Devils, as both teams combined to produce only 42 points in the opening 20 minutes.  The performance was so bad that Obama couldn’t help  but mention the fact that “both teams are shooting terribly” during his halftime analysis (0:15 mark of video below…sorry about the poor quality, but trust me, he says it).

However, both teams were able to turn things around in the second half, as they combined for a total of 75 points throughout the final 20 minutes.  And although the Hilltoppers came away with an impressive 59-58 come-from-behind victory, it was Mississippi Valley State’s Kevin Burwell, who stopped to ask Obama and his guest if they were enjoying the second half shootout after hitting a three-pointer right in front of the US President.

Check it out.

Hat Tip – [Outside The Boxscore]

Evan Longoria has had no problems scoring off the ice, as he has somehow managed to work his way into the pants of Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson.  That accomplishment may even be enough to earn him the distinction of being one of the best off-ice scorers in sports these days.

Coincidentally, Longoria and Edmondson were at the Tampa Bay Times Forum last night watching one of the world’s best on-ice scorers, as the couple got a firsthand look at Steven Stamkos’ 49th and 50th goals of the season during the Lightning’s 6-1 victory over the visiting Boston Bruins.

When she first started dating Longoria, Edmondson probably thought she was dating Tampa Bay’s best athlete.  Last night, it became apparent that she isn’t, as Stamkos became just the sixth player in NHL history to score 50 goals in a season twice before the age of 23.  So does this mean she is going to dump Longoria for the 22-year-old hockey phenom?  Probably not, but if by some chance she does, we’ll all be able to point to yesterday’s game as the exact moment that Edmondson had a sudden change of heart.

Here is a look at Longoria and Edmondson enjoying the game.

And here is Stamkos’ 50th goal of the season, as he made Bruins’ goaltender Marty Turco look like a goalie from the 1970s.

United States President Barack Obama has filled out his 2012 NCAA March Madness Tournament bracket, and coincidentally, he has the same Final Four as myself – Kentucky, Missouri, Ohio State and North Carolina.

So should I be worried?  Well that depends.  The last two years Obama has had Kansas winning the tournament, and in both instances they bowed out early.  However, three years ago he was able to correctly predict North Carolina as the champions.  Hopefully he’s due for another winner this time around.

With regards to the rest of Obama’s 2012 NCAA Tournament bracket, it isn’t all that interesting to be honest with you.  He has selected the top four seeds to advance to the Sweet Sixteen in both the South and East sections of the bracket, while his only Sweet Sixteen team ranked higher than a No. 5 seed is No. 11 North Carolina State.  If you ask me, that seems awfully conservative for a Democratic President.

In the end, Obama went with his Tar Heels to beat the Wildcats in the finals.  Here is a look at Obama explaining his bracket, which you can check out in its entirety in the image below the following video.

Check it out.

Here is Obama’s complete 2012 NCAA Tournament Bracket.

Talk about talent!

There are a lot of things that athletes do on a regular basis that impress me, like dunking a basketball over another human, or making a one-handed catch along the sidelines.  But as impressive as both of the aforementioned feats may be, they pale in comparison to this dude’s awe-inspiring display, as he bench presses 135-pounds while popping a wheelie down the street.

I’m not sure if the guy has a name, but you can check out his “New Stunt, New Stunt” in the video below.

Hat Tip reader CP

The Toronto Maple Leafs’ playoff hopes have taken a beating as of late, as they have won just once in their last 12 games.  They were dealt another blow last night, courtesy of the Florida Panthers.  And speaking of blows, Leafs’ enforcer Jay Rosehill was on the wrong end of several of them during a first period bout against the Panthers’ Krys Barch.

Rosehill would get a few punches of his own in during the course of this bout, but they would account for only a fraction of the amount of punches that he received from Barch.  In the end, Rosehill would walk away with a bruised face and a spot on the “Frozen Fisticuffs fight of the Night” for Tuesday, March 13, 2012.

Check it out.

With the trade deadline quickly approaching (IT’S TODAY!), the Los Angeles Lakers have been shopping around Pau Gasol.  While Gasol has been a key member of the Lakers since they acquired him from the Memphis Grizzlies back in 2008, the Lakers can suddenly afford to lose the All-Star big man, thanks to the emergence of their other All-Star big man, Andrew Bynum.

Bynum has put together some big games this season, and he had another last night against the New Orleans Hornets, as he recorded 25 points, 18 rebounds, four assists, two steals and two blocks.  Those totals helped the Lakers edge the Hornets by a score of 107-101, giving them their fourth win in a row.

That performance by Bynum is why the Lakers feel a player like Gasol is expendable, as Andrew earns “The Stat Line of the Night” for Wednesday, March 13, 2012.

You can punch him in the face, slash him in the back of the leg, or give him a face-wash with the palm of your sweaty glove, and Winnipeg Jets enforcer Tanner Glass would probably be able to maintain his cool.  But the second you throw his glove into the stands, IT’S ON!

With frustrations boiling over for the Dallas Stars players during the latter stages of their 5-2 loss to the Jets last night, Adam Burish decided to provide one of the fans in the MTS Center with a souvenir when he tossed the glove of Tanner Glass over the glass on his way to the penalty box.  You’d think that losing a glove wouldn’t be such a big deal, seeing as how Glass was probably going to get a new pair within the next few games anyways.  But that clearly wasn’t the case, as the Jets’ forward chased down Burish in an attempt to exact revenge.

In the end, the only revenge he would get was the 5-2 victory, but at such a crucial moment in the season, exchanging a glove for a win is a trade that any player would probably make.  Even Tanner Glass.

Check it out.

It was on this day in 1988 that the St. Louis Cardinals of the NFL officially moved to Arizona.  Despite losing the Cardinals, the city of St. Louis would regain a team seven years later when the Los Angeles Rams moved east to become known as the St. Louis Rams.

The Cardinals franchise has long been known as one of the worse franchises in sports until recently.  Since winning the championship in 1947, the Cardinals have qualified for the playoffs only six times in the next 63 years.  However, they have won their division twice since 2008 and they also made the Superbowl in 2008, narrowly losing to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

With the losses of  Kurt Warner, Anquan Bolden, Antrell Rolle and Karlos Dansby, the Cardinals fell on hard times last couple of seasons.  Much of that was due to their lack of stability at the quarterback position.  One could only image that they will try to fix that through the draft or free agency this off-season.  Can you say “Peyton Manning”?

Here are the highlights from Superbowl XLIII.

Notable Birthdays

Bobby Bonds, MLB – Born March 15th 1946 in Riverside, California

Harold Baines, MLB – Born March 15th 1959 (age 53) in Easton, Maryland

Kevin Youkilis, MLB – Born March 15th 1979 (age 33) in Cincinnati. Ohio

I would have never imagined the Seattle Mariners being a funny team (I’m not sure why), but judging by this commercial for the Mariners’ upcoming season, I may have been wrong all these years.  I mean, Ichiro Suzuki doing Sean Connery impersonations?  Where do they come up with this stuff?

After finishing last in the AL West in six of the last eight seasons, the Mariners’ play on the field has been somewhat of a “laughing stock.”  Hopefully their young roster can change that this season, leaving us with only their off-the-field antics to laugh about.

Here is a look at the Mariners’ latest commercial, featuring an impersonation contest between Ichiro and Brendan Ryan.